Diva was dropped off first. She walked ahead, confident and dressed in her new clothes. Her blonde hair, straight and thick, shined in the morning sun. My fingers itched to check for invisible tangles. But, I resisted. I secretly snapped a picture, as I followed behind. As I write this, I become melancholy. This is Diva’s last […]
Today finds me sitting in a coffee shop, listening to the buzz. Students rushing in before class, some customers squinting at their laptop screens, while others hover together sharing tales of their life. Plugging in my ear buds, I soften the noises around me. Ed Sheeran sings and my fingers fly. I am not sure how I came to this relationship with […]
As most of the nation is already in Spring Break mode, I have 1 more week until it hits my house. One more week, until my wonderful children are with me 24/7. Can you feel my excitement oozing out of your screen? Truthfully, my children are wonderful (most of the time). They each inherited a sarcastic sense of humor which […]
As the house is emptied of husband and kids, I begin my morning commute towards my Cloffice. Being my own boss is dangerous territory for a Type-A pessimist. This daily trek could be littered with landmines, traffic jams, and the occasional breakdown. It’s always a surprise. This particular morning, my commute is interrupted as my fingertips trace the muddy paw prints […]
Each day is new, but always includes our existing reality from yesterday.
Every minute is a chance to live, but it is also another opportunity to improve our mindset.
As many do, I find myself buried under the weight of life. Of the possibilities that get swept under the rug once my head hits the pillow. Of the thoughts that always invade when I close my eyes.
My mind’s switch is broken. Never obeying my instructions when I scream “Lights out”. Kind of like my children, but we won’t go there.
Two weeks ago, I reached an end.
The end of my Summer Patience.
Yes, I gave it a name, because patience of any type deserves a title. I have been neglecting my blog and writing. Primarily due to the constant attention my children seem to need with their 24/7 presence in my house. With me. ALL day.
With chauffeuring them to and from BFE, shopping and packing for camps, visiting museums, applying suntan lotion to wiggling bodies, checking out countless library books (and paying the fines because we forget to return them on time)…….I was done.
Approximately 80 days……. 1,920 hours of togetherness. I was well past done.
Below is an excerpt of a journal entry that I penned when my Summer Patience began to show cracks in its pretty, shiny suntanned surface.
I am not writing this to get sympathy, or encouragement that summer will end (because it will!). I am sharing this to showcase another part of my life. Another part of me that most don’t see.
We are on DAY 7. I have nicknamed this summer as Mission Impossible. Each day is action-packed and involves intellect, heroics, and scheming villains. Don’t judge, but it helps me cope.
For the first few days, I stared at these creatures, they very ones I helped create, wondering how I will make it out alive. My survival instincts said to run….and don’t look back.
Due to bad knees and the fact that I suck at running, I decided it was best I stood my ground.
This was my new mantra:
Don’t make eye contact and stand very still…..maybe they will sniff around for a bit and then go off to chase the squirrels………
There is one & a half days left of the school year…..mere hours left until my Dear Diva Child and Handsome Middle Child are no longer entertained by others for 8 hours. Summer has finally arrived.
I am feeling a bit anxious about having my children all to myself for the first time since my last maternity leave….almost 9 years ago. I am not counting weekends, extended holidays, or vacations. We have these down to a science. My time has been spent wondering how many other parents are taking this plunge. Leaving the busy working world outside the home to spend time with their kids? How many are trying to juggle a fledgling dream while trying to figure out how to tolerate the kids 24/7?
Are there support groups that we newbies can attend? Do I get a special coin or reward if I survive these next 3 months? Who can help me with the important questions I have?
In my past life, visits to the park were something I only read about. Other parents would spend meaningful, quality time pushing their kiddos on swings and chatting with other moms, forging relationships and allowing their children to soak in some Vitamin D. I never ventured to that side of mom-hood. Since I worked, I found it quite easy to brush off requests due to limited hours of daylight, school activities, sport activities, and just because I was too freaking tired.
My usual Sunday posting did not happen. I ignored my laptop. I refused to pick up a pen. I felt extremely guilty because I am a person who thrives on schedules and organization. I decided to wait until this morning because I needed to let my mind rest a bit. Oh…. the hell with it….. I’ll just be blunt….. I […]