Going Up
This is my ground floor. My starting point. Going up and entering unfamiliar terrain is frightening. Fear causes my hands to sweat and my lungs to restrict. My eyes roam the room, wondering if anyone can sense my hesitation. Do they see the way my body vibrates with anticipation?
My goal is to become a published writer. That previous sentence took me hours to write. Being a writer, takes guts. Some believe it's easy. Others have attempted and failed. I am competing with brilliant minds and others who have more experience.
I am not writing for the world. I am writing for me. As long as I am happy with what I am doing, then that is enough. (I should print this out and wall paper my office with it.)
There will be plenty of bumps, twists and turns while I am going up. I may want to jump off this crazy ride, but I have vowed that I will forge ahead, no matter what.
It's About Time
At 37, I decided to shatter my pre-conceived notion of being like everyone else is my normal. Working in an office job allowed me to live. Pay the bills. Put food on the table.
I achieved success and felt accomplished, although there was something missing. A void. A nagging unfulfilled yearning. For a long time, I was embarrassed to admit that.
Writing was a hobby. Something I did by the faint glow of my bedside lamp. Releasing tension and contemplation were a temporary satisfaction squished between mommy obligations and life's ability to test the boundaries of my sanity.
Even before the adulthood, I would unleash my pen to numerous sheets of paper and the outcome astounded me. It also made me feel vulnerable and very raw. Unfortunately, these emotions were crammed into desk drawer.
For 25 years, this was my normal. Hiding a hobby. Covering up what some said was a talent. It’s time to open the drawer, set my words free, and figure out where I want my wings to take me. Taking this journey to share my thoughts, experiences, and chaos scares the crap out of me. Being petrified that someone will not agree with my views or like what I write, is my Achilles heel.
Leaving the ground floor, going up above the barriers I set is freaking HARD. But....it is necessary.
Until next time,
13 Comments
Melissa Collins
I’m the 1st one!! I’m so proud of you, you have no idea!!! I can’t wait to read what you have in store for us…it will most definitely be unique! You my dear are one of a kind and I’m so excited to follow you on this journey!
laura Beyer
you go girl!
Joan
I’m not going to have kids, but it seems like all my friends are. Thank god you started a blog on parenthood, I’m going to rely on you to keep me current on parent-y things so I can still keep up with all of them!
Jovie
This is great! I will be following.
Cassandra Lundy
I am so excited for your blog! I am really proud of you Jen-Jen!!
StarTraci
Yay for you! Those were the exact reasons that I began writing, as well (at age 38). It was lovely meeting you and I loo forward to your journey!
🙂
Traci
J M Preiss
Woohoo! Way to go, Jennifer. (as an aside…I just stuck my arm in sweet and sour sauce typing that…whoops)
Anonymous
Oh yes my sweet friend. You have the knack of making things sound so exciting. This goal you will reach. I love following you on FB. I feel like I am keeping up with your lovely family. Just keep writing and I will keep reading. If we did not have dreams we would have nothing………Vic
Carrie Djordjevic
Hey girl I am so proud for you for take this step and I can’t wait to read what you post next!!
Megan
Congrats on the new blog Jennifer! I love having an outlet for my thoughts that aren’t just lingering on paper – I bet you will too 🙂 Looking forward to reading more.
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