Live for Today…Breathe for Tomorrow….Writing for Me
Sitting alone allows your mind to contemplate things. The things you don’t have time for during everyday life. The hustling to get out the door. Speeding to get somewhere on time. A certain somewhere you’d rather not be. Frantically trying to keep your composure when all you want to do is scream. Or cry.
So today, I sit here. Listening.
Car doors slam. Water drops hit the pavement, as a sprinkler waters the flower bed.
My temporary sanctuary soothes me. If only everyday could be like this, wouldn’t I be content?
I guess this could be my every day. Some may not understand the feeling I crave. The freedom in escaping. Listening. Creating.
I’ve always written when I felt Ike it. Whenever the urge hit. Never facing a career ending deadline, my words came and went as they pleased.
When I am highly emotional the words flow out of me, just like the sprinkler watering nearby. They are not always good words, but my page fills and I find peace. An emotional balance.
When I am living in my normal……..I tend to shut my writing door. Closing off the inspiration and disregard my emotions knocking from the other side.
Venturing out
I attended my first RWA Conference this year. Sitting among people that also have a passion for writing, made everything REAL.
After my first day at the conference, alone in my car, I was hit an immense feeling of inadequacy. Along with tears and the annoying urge to puke. 
Apparently, REAL scared the shit out of me.
For a split second, I thought these feelings meant that I did not belong in the midst of these other writers. That I was in over my head.
Then, as fast at it hit me, my doubt was gone. I started to think about the book ideas I have created and the characters that are alive in my head. The characters that are barely breathing. Suffocating under my procrastination.
Both stories are as much a part of me as my own heart. If I let these stories disappear, will part of me fade away too?
Strength took hold and rooted itself deep within me. I realized that I am tired of keeping the door closed. Only allowing access when I’m emotional, unstable, or just plain mad. It’s time to remove the door. Rip it from its hinges and explore the possibilities of my reality.
9 Comments
Johnf425
Nice blog here! Also your website loads up fast! What host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my site loaded up as quickly as yours lol eeeeddfdedgf
jenniferpreissauthor
Thank you! It is definitely a work in progress.
Smitha293
You could certainly see your skills within the work you write. The world hopes for more passionate writers like you who arent afraid to say how they believe. Always follow your heart. kkdbdbadckbeaaed
jenniferpreissauthor
Thank you so much! It Is a slow process to gain confidence, but your feedback helped. Again, thank you.
Joyce Boatright
You are such a good writer! Don’t let fear strangle you… write through it because you have talent!
Sandy Dobbs
“Suffocating under my procrastination”… I think you have been in my head! Enjoyed your post!
jenniferpreissauthor
Thank you!
It is always reassuring to know there are others that have the same issues as you do.
Jennifer S
Going places where you don’t know people is definitely intimidating! I remember my first blogging conference and being SO nervous! BUT the nerves and worry were for naught, I learned a ton and made great friends 🙂 I can’t wait to see you put what you learned into practice 🙂
jenniferpreissauthor
I love meeting new people and thoroughly enjoy new experiences. Even the jitters are somewhat rewarding. 🙂