Ensley The low tire pressure light appeared three days ago. The reminder nudges. Distracting me, until I add a trip to Discount Tire onto my to-do list.
My laptop is open. A blank white page waiting. The cursor blinking and opens the door.
Writing pressure sneaks in.
A ceramic mug sits to my left and wisps of steam rise from the freshly brewed Americano. The honey I added tames inner demons.
The emptiness in this little coffee shop is soothing. No one dares to be out this early on a Monday morning and I'm mildly surprised that I am. Maybe it was the promise of their stronger-than-life caffeine that led me to this corner table. Or, maybe it is something stronger.
A pen and journal are on my right. Waiting.
Avoidance is easy. Words are not. It’s on those “ http://wemswimmingandlifestylecentre.org.uk/?p=40 not” days when I wonder if I have anything more to say.
Are all the words already taken?
Is the tank empty?
Where was the warning light?
Avenues of uncertainty veer me toward half decisions and hopeful declarations, yet I remain standing still. My reason for doubt is fear. I have written about the “F” word before and I confess it has proved to be a true and steadfast companion.
Breaking down walls within oneself isn’t as easy as it sounds. Possibly to someone stronger, it would be but I have spent too long staring at the mental dam I’ve created. Admiring how each splintered piece twists and entwines itself around another creating an intricate, remote existence.
It is a perfect distraction.
This realization...I finally acknowledge is the “warning light”.
So far, there are two conferences on my schedule this year. Both incorporate writing, yet on different levels. I am hoping at least one inspires and catapults me over this congestion of overthinking and avoidance. Please send luck my way.
If only refilling creativity and motivation was as simple as getting the tire pressure light to disappear…