Embarking on an Old Habit

Embarking on an old habit is as daunting as beginning a new one.

I feel awkward and my mouth is dry, as if it were filled with cotton and my fingers freeze as they hover over the keyboard. It’s been too long since I’ve published a post and it feels strange to be back here. So, I do what any normal human would do at this moment. Procrastinate!

I find rouge distractions such as dust bunnies, social media, and the world living outside my window. I walk to the kitchen and refill my favorite mug. Then, the quiet in the house irks me, so I return to my office and scroll through my music and pick something upbeat.

Delaying the inevitable only gets me so far and then I’m back to square one, with my fingers hovering over the keyboard and my brain screaming, “Just do it already!”

This year, I found a rhythm and purpose within my writing and quite possibly a bit of confidence, as well.

Two pieces of mine were published. “Physically, I Stayed”, a creative non-fiction piece of mine, was published in my college literary magazine and my flash fiction piece, “Mourning” was published in The Ocotillo Review.

When I received the news, I danced and yelled as if I won a Pulitzer.  I called, texted and posted the news to everyone I knew. It was a glorious few moments of my life, especially since I was actually PAID for one of them. I won’t disclose the amount, but let’s just say after cashing the check and buying a frame for it…I was in the negative. But, it sure does look pretty up on my Cloffice wall.

The ability to put my craft ahead of life’s mundane chores is difficult – mentally and physically. Don’t be fooled…there’s still laundry piled up, dishes begging to be washed and a child needing transportation, but delegating time to my writing and sticking to a schedule helps…along with occasionally going mommy-crazy and locking myself in my Cloffice to stare at my framed check.