Walking the Plank….Take 2
Little moments in life are cherished. First steps, first words, the first loose tooth. These milestones are ones we gladly mark down in baby books or record on film. With each of my children, I hold onto these fading memories and mourn their passing. Before we are ready, those sweet moments are overshadowed with ones that make us cry and cringe.
Having College Child, Middle-Child and Diva Child 5 years apart, gave my husband and me a breather. Over a year ago, we completed our first teenage voyage. We visited hell and thankfully made it back. I don’t recommend this trip, but I know it is inevitable in the vicious cycle of parenting.
I do not want to make this trip again. I keep trying to refund my tickets, but I find that no one wants them and sadly I don’t blame them. The ulcers are about healed….but now the next kid is up to bat and we are going to be yanked back out into the game. And there will be another to follow that one.
The Middle Child is taking a course, through his school, called “Worth the Wait”. Between this and Diva Child questioning comments about pharmaceutical commercials, I feel like I’m walking the plank. I guarantee that shark infested waters are safer than the questions about hormones and the facts of life.
Finding the Humor
The other day, I picked my son up from school.
Me: “So, how was your day?”
Middle Child: “Good.”
Me: “Do you have homework?”…..hopeful for more than the one syllable answer.
Middle Child: “No, but today we had to go to the Library with the other class and learn about STD’s, AIDS, and Herpes. Did you know you could die from Stage 4 Herpes?”
Me: Silence……as I dig in my bag of tricks to find a proper response…….I confess that I would have been happy with a one syllable answer. (It’s called denial and wonder why these conversations ALWAYS occur while I am driving.)
Middle Child: “I also failed 2 assignments because I did not finish on time. We had three days, but I did not get it done.”
Me: “What were the assignments?”
Middle Child: “We had glue the body parts on Male and Female Anatomy diagrams.”
Me: Silence…..Thinking to myself…the female anatomy will always be a mystery to you, bud.
The kicker to all of this is, he earned a 69 on both assignments. I literally laughed till I cried. Yep…….quite comical, right?!
Finding the humor in the beginning of this long road will help me. I learned this the first time around.
Marking Your Territory
With my son, I find that I am the territorial one. Whereas, with our daughter, it was my husband. I honestly thought he would “mark his territory” to prevent the boys from invading.
Now, I find my husband giving our Middle Child high five’s and smiling like the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. It is a little unsettling how the double-standard is alive and well in our home.
As the mother of a boy, I still see him as my baby…..my 1 and ONLY male child. He is very precious to me and I feel I should interview any little girl that crosses his path. My husband thinks this is a bad idea, but I am currently constructing a questionnaire. God help the woman who breaks his heart.
Face Reality…..it’ll be here before you know it.
Watching my children grow up is intriguing, heartbreaking, and downright exhausting. They are faced with adult decisions way too early.
All I can do is be honest, welcoming, and open to anything they need to discuss……after they pour me a glass of wine.
