The snapshots that usually make it into the photo album or slide shows portray our happiness, those perfect family vacations, and the shiny new bikes at Christmas. I think some of the most memorable “snapshots” are ones that don’t make it on film. When our “real” side comes out and only the closest to us are fortunate to witness……or unfortunate, depending on how you look at it…..These are times when you aren’t posing or camouflaging yourself behind someone to cut off those extra 5 or 10 pounds. My everyday life deserves some documenting, right?
The Good, The Occasional Bad, & The Occasionally Ugly Moments
1. Shopping tirelessly for violin cases, jock straps, and foot “undies”. Not understanding why they can’t make a one stop shop….. then finding said jock strap laying next to their toothbrush.
2. Waiting in the after school pick-up line without a good book.
3. Showing up 3 hours early, to wait in line, to make sure diva child gets the best dance teacher.
4. Peeling money from your sweat drenched pocket so your pouting child can have a snow cone that will ruin the shirt they are wearing.
5. Washing headphones, hall passes and an occasional pull-up. My smile when discovering that dollar in the washer…..a tip for my awesomeness.
6. Wiping snot with my shirt while licking my finger and rubbing mystery marks off a small round cheek, and flushing the toilet for someone else….. is sadly part of my routine. I think this should involve Hazard Pay.
7. Muttering curse words under my breath, while scraping dried Rice Krispies from the table or while cleaning the dreaded kid’s bathroom. Thoughts of being a servant have run through my mind. (see Hazard Pay referenced above.)
8. Watching my son learning to ride a bike ……and catching myself laughing as he runs into a tree. FYI….He was fine, BTW.
9. Shedding tears of joy at dance recitals, clapping enthusiastically at violin concerts, and cheering like a banshee when my son slides into home plate has my husband chuckling and shaking his head.Honestly, I think he is relieved to see this side of me.
10. Smelling animal poo while waiting for my child to “show” their pigs. Who would of thought……
11. Shedding tears of despair during those teenage years when I didn’t know what else to do. Not recognizing my child growing distant and unfamiliar, shocked me. It downright scared the crap out of me. I now realize why military schools were established.
12. Battling confusion and the urge to remove my eighteen year old’s nose ring. Asking her “Does it get in the way of blowing your nose? Won’t snot get stuck on it?”
13. Researching Disney vacations…..for several years, only to book a trip to Cozumel…..for 2 instead. The kids are still waiting on the Disney trip.
14. Gripping the “OH SHIT” handle, as my 16 year old turned left on a red light. I was sure that “Mom, I was committed” would be the last words I’d ever hear.
15. Realizing how much college tuition costs……
These mental snapshots are part of me, my family, and my life. They may fade with time. They may get a bit warped. My mind may forget the emotions behind them, when I am old and grey. Nonetheless, they are never really gone as they are forever branded on my heart.
Kids…….In the future, please use your knowledge of these moments when picking out my 5-star nursing home. And if money is tight, your Dad would be OK with the 2-Star.